I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
