She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
