**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
In other news, I just burned my penis
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
