So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
