He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I feel like a drive thru vagina
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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