Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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