well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
