so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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