i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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