i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
