I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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