i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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