So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
