My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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