i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
