he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
