Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
