He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize