Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
