last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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