Non-Jews are for practice
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
