so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
