your room smells of hookers.
And success
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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