I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
