they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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