please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
