I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
