HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
love makes seman taste better
Less talking, more tequila
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
