So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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