I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
