last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
When are your genitals available?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
