If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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