Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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