Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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