he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
These tits shall not be calmed
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
