there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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