Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
