OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
