i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize