mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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