we're chasing vodka with high fives
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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