Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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