So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize