chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
