is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
