But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
