I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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