i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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