I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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