Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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