Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
