I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
