I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I want a musical about memes.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
