U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
areolas are like halos for boobs.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Randomize