Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
There's even glitter on my cock...
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
