I can text with my tongue
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
