My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize