when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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