I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Drunk is not a location!
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
