nut hugger
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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