is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
