just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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