I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You are a genius and a whore.
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