I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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