Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
